It wasn't a great day for me, especially in work. I let things get to me too much and I left work at 5pm in a foul mood. Also I wasn't a good coworker because I voiced my frustrations with the way things seem to be going lately. While I am feeling distressed by it all, by voicing my concerns and frustrations, it causes distress for other people. I just have to keep my distress to myself. Now I'm feeling down on myself for all the distress. The guilt of taking so much time off from work when I have the surgery is really starting to grow more each day. The burden I am placing on work with not covering my share of the work as well as the burden that I will be placing on my mom because I won't be able to cover my duties at home, is starting to bother me more and more each day. People have said I need to take care of myself and while I do it at times when I am not required to do anything for anyone, it's not in my nature to put me first. But oddly enough, I often feel that I am extremely selfish. Strange conflict, isn't it!
Mood was foul earlier... now just down. It might just be the weather.
I didn't stitch again tonight but I did finish my homework for week 1 of my latest genealogy course. I noticed that I can actually read and post all the other assignments when I'm ready. I don't need to necessarily go week by week so I might just do the assignments to be done with them and then only have to wait for the final. I think it will be posted the second week in July.
2 comments:
I hope today was a better day for you..
I'm sorry you're feeling so down, but remember you DO need to take care of yourself first and try hard not to worry about other things right now. And once your surgery is over and you are recovered you will hopefully feel much better and therefore will be able to do the things you want/need to do.. so see? you shouldn't feel so guilty at all.. it's really a help to everyone ;)
Just thought maybe a more positive spin on the situation would help you feel a bit better :)
Hugs!
Dear Mary, another thing to keep in mind is that life goes on after the surgery. After the surgery you may well be better able to function while not in so much pain (as you are now). You will be stronger. Don't let other people bully you because you need to do what you need to do to get yourself well. Life happens. The facts of life are not easy to digest. Papers stack up on your desk. Duties sometimes may or may not get taken care of while you are gone. The yard work will stack up on everyone. But, eventually you will be back and hopefully better able to do it. Other people will step in and help when it gets really bad. But also remember not everything rests on your shoulders. It simply does not. The only thing that rests on your shoulders is the tender heart of mine when I need you. So as not to ramble on....Go Mary Go, Go Mary Go...rah rah rah Yay
You can do it so do it.
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